In honor of our beloved Founder, Dr. Geil Browning, who recently passed on, I wanted to write a blog on grief and processing loss.
Everyone will have their own distinct experience with mourning considering their backgrounds, relationships, traditions and perspectives, among many other factors. These variances are likely to impact how a person navigates the commonly referenced five stages of grief [1] defined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.
As we within the Emergenetics community traverse our healing journeys, I hope that these tips – inspired by the Attributes that Geil brought to the world – can be helpful in times of mourning.
Give space for thoughts and emotions
After losing a loved one, it can sometimes be tempting to simply carry on, and it’s important to attend to the feelings that bubble up in the days that follow. For those with third-third Expressive tendencies, this may be best accomplished by reaching out to others to talk through sentiments, understanding that thoughts may not be able to be fully articulated. People with first-third preferences may instead wish to spend time reflecting on their own or using a technique like journaling to express their emotions. Those in the second-third may find either approach to be healing, depending on the circumstance.
Recognize the pace of bereavement
Individuals with a third-third Assertive tendency may wish to push through the stages of grief quickly as they often prefer a faster tempo, while those in the first-third of Assertiveness may be more inclined to let their sorrow take its course as they embrace a measured pace. Recognizing that bereavement is often unpredictable, and the speed cannot always be controlled can help support anyone across the Assertiveness Attribute.
Expect a winding road
When facing loss, people with a first-third preference for Flexibility may wish to see a clear progression through their heartache, while those in the third-third are likely to embrace the idea that grief is not linear. Acknowledging that while there may be five stages, they are unlikely to follow a directed pathway, and committing to giving oneself grace through the waves of emotion can support all aspects of the Flexibility spectrum.
Seek Out Respected Sources
As someone in the 95th percentile of Analytical, I certainly leaned into this preference soon after learning about the passing of my dear friend Geil. I conducted my own research into mourning, looking towards credible authors and experts in the field to support myself. A similar search can empower those with an Analytical preference with a greater understanding of the topic, so they can be better equipped to navigate the experience.
Address One Thing
The Structural Attribute is often inclined to take practical action and lead processes forward. In instances of sorrow, it’s likely that individuals with a Structural preference may want to do something of use or take care of any next steps that may be required. Finding one thing to contribute to can support this Attribute in recognizing their loss.
Reach Out to Loved Ones
Those with a Social preference will likely find initial comfort in connecting with people they are close to. Taking a moment to reach out to even one person or to share a memory of the departed can provide solace to the Social Attribute and help them begin to process their emotions.
Embrace Energetic Connections
The Conceptual Attribute often appreciates what Geil lovingly called the “woo-woo,” as our Yellow thinkers often value intuition, are open to the mystical and have an innate sense of universal connection. For those with a Conceptual preference, taking time to tap into the energy of their loved one or seeking and sending positive vibrations to the universe can serve as a helpful starting point.
Grief is not managed in a single moment or with a neat series of steps. It takes time, and it’s important to give yourself empathy and recognize the journey may lead down many different paths.
In the coming weeks, as we continue on our own path of remembrance, I will plan to share another blog that offers some coping strategies that may support each Attribute. As I close out this post, I wish you peace and healing energies as you navigate any losses in your life.
For some, it can be restorative to share a story of their loved ones who have passed on. If you’d like to share a favorite memory of Geil, our team would love to hear from you!